Look up, can you see it?
Its shimmer lightens up your world.
Reach high, can you touch it?
Not just yet.
5 billion stars above your head,
All, shining so bright, so bright.
But only one catches your eye.
It’s a leap of faith and destiny.
You’re wishing.
You’re hoping.
You’re praying.
“Will you fall for me?” you ask.
Your star does not fall.
Not just yet.
11 months ago with 0 notes
First weekend back in Manila, I spent with these people! PAREF kids +++
Beer pong, girls vs. boys! Who run the world?!
KALABAW FAMILY!!! Minus Pele, Matt and Zoe. :(
AAAH! Love you guys. :)
11 months ago with 1 note
“Am I?” That question always pops into your head when people ask how you are after your so-called ‘break up’. Of course I’m fine, you think to yourself. And why shouldn’t you be?
You’re fine with both of you not working out, not like you both had hoped for. I mean, nothing lasts forever, right? Like he said, it’s not like you made promises to each other; that you’d always be soul mates. What does that even mean? No one ever clearly explained the concept, so you’re fine not knowing if you both were. Soul mates, I mean.
You didn’t exactly get proper closure. Words you both really wanted to say were left unsaid. And you’re fine with that, because honestly, what good would it have done to the both of you anyway? You fully understand that it would have been a burden for him if he tried to stop you and try harder. You were leaving, and he couldn’t have done anything about it. Right?
You’re fine with you being there and him being farther away, having thousands of miles between you two. Not to mention the seven-hour difference, making it almost impossible to have a decent conversation. You should be fine with the fact that you don’t talk about your how your day went, or how what your plans were for the weekend. Not anymore… Not like before. And when you do talk to each other, there always has to be a reason. When did you decide to be strangers to one another? Isn’t it better to live with this sense of unattachment and freedom?
You’re fine with occasionally having those memories of you and him, because that’s all they really were, right? Memories that only both of you can call yours… They’ll never change or be forgotten, so might as well stick with them. Or those moments when something happens and it reminded you of him. His laugh, his smell, his everything. You’re fine with not telling him about them, because you’re pretty sure that when you do, a whole new level of awkward would arouse and, again, you’ll go back to square one. And you know neither of you want that.
You’re fine with the fact that you will never be able to go back to the way both of you used to be- even before you got “involved” with each other, when you were genuinely honest about anything and everything. Why? Because that’s the thing with situations like these. It gets ruined when two people don’t commit enough… Even when they want to.
You’re so fine that you realize that all this reasoning in your head was useless. Who are you kidding? But you want to know the truth? Saying you’re fine is just so much easier than having to explain to people the reasons why you should be, or plainly, why you aren’t. So are you fine? Yes, you are.
1 year ago with 1 note
“I miss you.”
It flew right out of your mouth, just like that. I just sat there in silence, absorbing it. I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t expecting anything to happen… In this case, to happen again. But it’s been two years. Two fucking years. Maybe it was meant to be that long for a reason. You had to go your way, and I had to go and live mine.
“I love you.”
You just said it as if things would change right then and there… I couldn’t say anything but the ever-so-cliche response, “You’re drunk.” What else was I supposed to say? Because honestly, somehow, your words just passed me by, like how you see drops of rain slide down a windowsill on a stormy night. It came, but after a while, you just know for a fact it won’t rain forever. That better things were coming.
People can surprise you. And it’s up to you to get out there and see for yourself whether a person did or not, for the better, or the worse.
1 year ago with 3 notes
The two week vacation for Semana Santa is something I will always and forever cherish. All photos are taken (obviously except those I am in) and processed by me. :)
To start it of, I spent three full days in Amsterdam, one of the cities I can now cross off in my bucket list. Although it wasn’t exactly the best city to visit during Holy Week, I say that it was a bit of an eye opener… To say the least, I was quite good during this time. Heehee
^ Glad to say that my first ever Hard Rock Cafe experience was in Amsterdam!
To end the short break, it was my first time to go to Lisbon, Portugal. I must say, I LOVE IT. So far in my adventures, this city is by far my favorite, partly because of the beach. Haha! Portugal just has so much life. Definitely going back. :)
^We even made a Dutch friend! Plus our first surf instructor.
^Another set of surf instructors!
^This elevator was designed by the same dude who designed the Eiffel Tower.
1 year ago with 0 notes
It happened again, like it always does early in the morning on. The night before, something that relates to you comes knocking on my door. And in the morning, distress arrives. My breathing becomes so heavy that I can almost hear every beat of my heart, wanting to pound its way out of my chest in pain. In the process, I ask myself, “Am I hurting that much to literally feel the heartbreak?” Why is it that I still feel discomfort in my heart with the thought of you? I shouldn’t anymore… I had already crossed that bridge and put the pieces back together.
So, I lay still on my bed without a single word or cry, waiting for the pain to pass. It has to come to an end, somehow, as everything does. And in that waiting period, I flood my head with memories. At first, the aches seemed to grow longer and harder. But once my thoughts reached how you and I used to be, the level of pain gradually decreases. My breathing comes back to normal, as my chest begins to rise up and down without difficulty. And then suddenly, the pain disappears. And the cycle begins again.
1 year ago with 1 note
It sucks, doesn’t it? That moment you realize that everything you’ve done, no matter how hard you tried to preserve its worth, shatters into a million little pieces.
As it falls in mid-air, you can’t help wondering what to do. A reign of fear and panic come as you try and reach out as far as you can, hoping your hands will magically be long enough to catch it before it hits the ground. You’re hoping to save it. Why? Because in your mind, you think that without it, you have nothing. That you will be nothing.
But you aren’t fast enough. It crashes and you fall, feeling the emotional, and sometimes physical, pain rush to your body. It’s all over, you think. You’re left with wonder. The wonder of how it ever go to that point in the first place; how you tripped, lost your balance, and dropped everything all at once. You think about how you missed the signs of trouble. You are now broken. And for now, and probably for a while, you think to yourself that no amount of time will ever fix you to be whole again. Not like how you were before, anyway.
1 year ago with 4 notes
This actually isn’t mine, I got it from Jillian Gandingco (http://www.sayhellojillianandraissa.tumblr.com) ages ago. Haha! Enjoy!
They say that a guy and a girl can’t be “just friends” because eventually, one will fall for the other. They do, however, end up as “just friends” after the “fallen” has realized that he/she can be nothing more to the “fallen for.” So I guess falling for a friend is inevitable. If you like spending time with that person and have grown fond of them, then that may be enough grounds for something “more…”
If there is such thing as a “boy-next-door”, is there a “girl-next-door” as well?
GIRL-NEXT-DOOR
She’s the person you can call in the middle of night and end up talking to up until the wee hours of the dawn. The person who listens to your feminine side because crying to your group of friends can be a bit embarrassing. Or the one who puts up with your stupid, shallow and crazy realizations of life and actually, agree with you sometimes. The one who chats with you, will help you work on a paper- just so you have company.
She’s the person you text when you when you’re bored. The girl that you’re comfortable with just chilling on your couch and playing video games, or watching movies. The girl who can come up to your room and no one in your family or even in your social circle, would think any kind of malice towards. The one who you can sleep together with, literally.
She’s the person you bring to a party where you know most of the people invited are coupled up. She keeps you company, makes you look good, feeds your ego and actually, goes with the flow occasionally when a “hirit” is made. And despite being her date, you don’t have the responsibility of carrying her bag, opening the door, pulling out her seat and accompanying her to the washroom. She simply is there to save you from being out of place and the perils of unlimited PDA from everyone else.
She’s the one you use as a cover up to shun away girls that like you but you don’t like back. The one you bring along to show off so that other girls would think you were taken. Or used as a cover-up when there would be a probability that you’d see your ex. She’s the one who would let you hold her hand and act all gentlemanly and sweet for whatever kind of reasons you might have. And yet, in the end, never have a second thought in her mind that it could’ve meant something more.
She’s the person your whole family knows. And your mom actually asks about her and how she’s been doing. The girl that your mom looks for when it’s been a while since you’ve hung out. The one who’s invited to family reunions or parties, just because your family loves her personality and company. The one you can bring to a wedding or Christmas party, where everyone is blood-related to you except for her.
She’s the person you can tell everything; from your bad habits to your dreams. From anything discussing, like describing how your bone popped out, to everything inspiring like your theories about life and poetry. The one you can tell your rants and curses for the people you abhor. And even your escapades and prospects. She listens to you and sets aside her feminine side and holds no barrier, just friendship. You can tell her your 1-10 ranking of chicks and your devious plans for their pursuit. And can I mention how she handles your sexytime stories? Yes, she’s that kind of girl too.
You’re the only guy she could have this kind of patience, understanding, sympathy, dedication and care for. She may have other guy friends but she gives you this unconscious effort that neither you or her realize. She can miss you and actually, say it to you. And you know well enough that she cares for you greatly. She loves you in this sort of way that enables her to do all of this.
And although people often tell you should have gone for her instead, the thought or image of it never came to mind. “It’s a bit weird…” She can be your best friend or girlfriend and yet, more often, she’s actually not. She’s simply just there… Ever ready to listen and be there for you without asking for anything else in return.
Either you’ve found one true friend or you’ve found someone who loves you in ways you never expected. Just like the boy-next-door, she will always put you and your happiness first and foremost. She will stay because she wants you to be a part of her life, even if it were only as a friend. You are dear to her heart for reasons both of you will never understand. And for as long as she wants, and for as long as you don’t realize it, she will remain the “girl-next-door.”
1 year ago with 8 notes
The cold makes some of us miss the summer. We miss how we, with our friends, would spontaneously go to the beach; how we would all squeeze ourselves in a tiny car and just drive. We miss having sand in our hair with the salt in the air. We miss drinking nice, cold beverages, or eating ice cream and flinching because of brain-freeze. We miss not having to over think about what shoes to wear with our summer outfit, or not having to care how our hair looked liked; it would’ve gotten wet by the water anyway. But most of all, we miss how, that in the summer, two people would feel something unexpected towards each other. A cliche saying, but it’s the truth.
The cold reminds some of us of loneliness; how it creeps inside our bodies deep enough for us to feel it in our bones; how it brings us back to the fall outs we’ve ever had with that person. It reminds us of how we spent our summer days, and how we long to spend it with them again. But most of all, it reminds us of the summer because everything seemed to be in its place, with them giving us joy and warmth, just like how we feel the warmth of assurance from every drop of sunlight that seeps into our skin during hot summer days.
Our summers were them, and theirs, us. And for some, we know that if we wait just a little bit longer, if we want and work for it hard enough, we would feel those summers again- hoping it will get us through any type of cold we’re all able feel. And this time, it won’t only last for one season.
1 year ago with 2 notes
I still get that feeling every once in a while. That warm feeling people get when they drink hot chocolate with marshmallows on a cold night. Or the feeling that butterflies are fluttering around your stomach; the mere fact that my heart still races, beating faster and faster, with just the thought of you. The feeling that something could’ve have been better, just if we both tried and wanted it hard enough. Yes, I still get those, even though I shouldn’t anymore. And like before, just how I knew in my mind that this would happen, we are slowly drifting, neither of us even noticing. But in all honesty, I think that’s okay. ‘Cause like you said, we’re doing fine now. Really, I’m glad you’re better. I’m glad you’re happier. I’m glad that, somehow, you’ve managed to get your shit together and make life work for you. You definitely seem that way. And from the start, that’s what I wanted for you. I guess this is what we’re ever going to be, two people who have their big dreams about the world and have each other to talk about it. But that’s just all. At least, that’s how you make it seem to be.
1 year ago with 5 notes
So where do I begin? Time and time again I’ve been hesitant to publish this; a letter, merely saying all the things I couldn’t say in the first place, things that I should have said on the days that turned into months after that day; things I want to say to you now, but don’t know how else to say them without holding back. I don’t know if you’re reading this… A part of me is scared that you are, while the other is eager for you to. So here it goes; me taking a risk, a leap of faith. This is me hoping that, after sometime, I would finally be completely contented and ready to move on to the next phase of my life.
I was afraid. I was afraid of how you would look at me if I told you that I didn’t want it to end, or that I thought we should still keep going and see what happens. I was afraid that you would view me as the girl who seemed so clingy and weak, just because things didn’t go her way. I was afraid that if I said anything, things between us would get worse.
I tried so hard to be okay with what you wanted. After all, we said we’d put our friendship first before anything else. That’s what you wanted, and I respected that. And I tried so hard to make it seem as though nothing had changed, that we would still be as close. And I put so much effort into trying to turn it back to what it used to be. I guess I put up with it because I still want you to be part of my life. But we go on days, that turn into weeks, that turn into months, without having a decent conversation. It disappoints me. It seemed like you never missed me. Like you forgot about what our friendship meant. I never understood that. I still don’t.
The worst part is, I don’t know what we are anymore. And I feel that it isn’t fair, especially when I don’t know the reason behind it. What do you want? Tell me, straight up, with no lies and sugar coated words. Do you still want us? Show me that you’re willing to make us work. Do you want nothing at all? Then please, just stop giving me all these mixed signals and false hopes. In all honesty, I’m not angry. Not anymore, at least. I’m tired. I am so tired of having to sit around and wait for something- anything- that seems isn’t going to happen. I’m hurt and all those emotions in-between that one can possibly hold. But I can’t do it anymore. I can’t pretend that I’m okay with what’s happening between us, because frankly, this indecisive thing happening between us is going nowhere. It’s like a game where no one’s ever going to win. Tell me, so that I know what to do next. Tell me, so I can tell myself that I don’t regret having you in my life, that you don’t regret having me in yours, and finally, so I can tell myself that despite everything, good or bad, we have both grown up into people who know that fine line between love and a waste of time.
1 year ago with 4 notes
I have experienced two kinds of loses; being left, and leaving. I underwent that horrible feeling of being left behind as that person sets off to start anew. But, I must admit, that it’s much more difficult being the latter- the one who leaves.
Being the person who got left is depressing. You think a person’s intentions are virtuous, then they leave and you’re left with empty words and broken promises. And for a while, you become so angry with this person for leaving you and you mope and go through a phase wherein you think you can no longer do anything to make up for the lost time you and that person could have spent together. Then you realize how lucky you are, being surrounded by other people who still want to be a part of your life, and who make you higher your standards of the term “friendship” and “relationship”. In the end, you get to be the one who moves on easily. And yes, you still occasionally get flashbacks you wish you could forget, but you accept the fact that “this person” left, and the possibility that you will never have the same connection with him or her ever again. It’s a slow process, you think, but a sure one.
Here’s the thing about leaving- From the moment you start packing up your things, having each item bring you back to the time where it became significant in your life, to the hour when you’re already on the plane, reminiscing about everything that happened before… You feel the guilt for leaving “that person”, and feel the regret creeping behind you because of the what if’s and maybe’s. And for the times you try to stay in contact with him or her, you constantly think about how you could have said things to make up for the lost time, and what you could have done to leave things on a better note. Then, because “that person” is trying to move on, you feel forgotten- that’s the most painful feeling of all. You feel alone, with no one literally there to satisfy your thirst for any sort of company. You then feel forced to move on and make more effort in fitting in to this new life you have, while trying to put all those memories you had in your old one aside. And one day, far from now, you will be able to look at this person right in the eyes, and smile with joy, thinking how you and this person had your wonderful time together.
No one ever gives credit for the one who leaves. People don’t understand how complicated and confusing it really is. It’s hard. Really hard.
1 year ago with 4 notes
Human nature. It makes us want things we don’t really need. It makes us feel things we don’t want to be felt. It makes us over analyze every little detail of a situation, thinking it means so much, when it actually doesn’t mean anything at all. That’s human nature for you. Something so uncontrollable and seductive. We let it succumb us into its abyss because it makes us feel good, when in reality, it’ll make us feel worse about ourselves.
Example: The thought of him calling you tonight a minute before the new year, saying that he’s outside wanting to greet you in person, then staying a minute or two longer because he wanted to be with you on both the last minute of the year, and the first minute of the new year. The moment when he looks at you right in the eyes with no fear or doubt or regret and finally follows through saying, “I miss you” and “We can still make this work”.
See, this is exactly what I’m talking about. Why do we feel things that only lets us down? We go through this everyday, on different situations in our lives. We expect so much, then just get disappointed. We wish on the impossible. There should be some sort of on and off switch in us that allows us to stop letting ourselves down. Because at the end of the day, after all that hoping, you will get no phone call, and you will hear sweet nothings.
But that is human nature. The only thing we can do, is to look at the things around us that we already have, that we already accomplished and acquired. Look at things from a different perspective to find our own happiness. It may not come in the way you would want it to come, but it’s better than it not coming at all. Then maybe, just maybe, you will finally get a follow through better than what you’ve been waiting for.
1 year ago with 4 notes
Last night, we had our high school class Christmas party! It was held at Kat’s house. I was the surprise for everyone, since no one except my closest friends knew I was back home early. :) It was so much fun! I really missed everyone. Here are a few photos taken from my new camera, Pentax Optio RZ 18. Best digital camera everrr!
With my two accomplices, Henni (http://www.criminallywonderful.tumblr.com) and Anica!
Lunch group! With Keach, Anica and Jill and Ra (http://www.sayhellojillianandraissa.tumblr.com) !
With Henni and Ina!
Teresa and Vic chilling on the couch.
Ra, Angelica, Keach, Kat, Vic and Teresa! Grabe Kat, you’re so dark. =))
With my twin, Abby (http://www.crabbyabby.tumblr.com)!
Us with Keach!!!
Jill, Ra and Henni!
Wi
Their lunch group! Micki, Ina, Teresa, Vic, Lia, Angelica, Abby and Kat!
Class photo! Or atleast, for those of us who were able to go. Love you guys! :)
1 year ago with 0 notes
